I AM SO STRESSED, TIRED, AND IN NEED OF SLEEP.

DAMN.

ehem. ehem.

we talked.

for at least thirty minutes.

i joked. she laughed. i teased. she laughed some more.

oh, did i mention that i already have her cellphone number?

"smooth operator... smooooothhhh operator..."

hehe. kinikilig ang lolo nyo.

may piktyur na ako kasama si pen medina. yep, mga poks, si pen medina.

nag-voice over siya sa ginagawa naming project. mabait, down to earth, at perfectionist. kahit na ayos na naman iyung VO niya, uulit-ulitin niya ito hanggang makuha niya iyung tamang pagbigkas nung mga salita.

gusto ko sana mag-post ng pictures dito kaso may problema iyung kuneksyon ng telepono ko sa computer. sayang. tsk tsk.

malapit na matapos iyung ginagawa namin, at mapapanood nyo siya. magpo-post ako rito ng shameless plugging ek ek tungkol dun next week. ansaya niya gawin, kaka-stress lang.

at dun nyo maririnig ang boses ni pen medina. yep mga poks, si pen medina.

idolo sa akting. galeng pa ng boses. kukunin ko siyang artista someday.

someday.

sana iyung someday next year na.

nagbabalat na naman ang ilang parte ng katawan ko. animo'y isa akong ahas na na naghuhungos ng kanyang mga kaliskis... pero di tulad ng ahas na mabilis na natatanggal ang pagbabalat... ako hindi.

dahil kapag nagsimula na akong ma-stress, ayan na ang pagbabalat. kahit ano pang cream, gamot, tabletas na iinumin ang subukan ko, pag stressed na ako, walang tumatalab sa akin.

ang pagbabalat ang pamantayan ng sobrang stress sa buhay ko. mas maraming pagbabalat, mas malaking stress. walang pagbabalat, walang stress.

mukha na akong balat.

from wrigley tapos napunta kay jenny kaya ginawa ko sa blog ko:

Instruction: Highlight the ones you've done.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight - sa Canada
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse - of the heart? hehe
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs 
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain 
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business 
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played DVD for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo – just henna tattoo.
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand-uhm...
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication - pwede scripts for A TV network?
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper 
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach - YUCK!
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life - technically

"pu-&#*$#@!@!"

"pu-&#*$#@!@ mo rin!"

"ang nanay mo kan-*$%#ero!"

"eh ang nanay mo naman pok-*&%$(# !"

iyan ang gumising sa akin isang umaga nung nakaraang linggo. sigawan at murahan... ng mga pitong taong gulang na mga bata. yep, mga PITONG TAONG GULANG NA MGA BATA.

nagmumurahan na parang mga matatanda, nag-aaway na parang nasa pelikula. daig pa si maricel soriano at vilma santos sa tindi ng mga palitan ng mga binitiwang salita.

kita mo nga naman ang buhay dito sa tundo. ang mga bata matataas ang pangarap. gusto maging artista. gusto makagawa ng pelikula. aba'y pareho pa pala kami ng pangarap. 

kulang na lang eh magsampalan sila at sabay bunot ng kutsilyo, isaksak sa isa't isa para ayun, tapos ang drama, simula na ng aksyon. para magmana na sila talaga sa kanilang mga aktor na mga magulang.

parang pelikula.

"Have some sex. but of course, it should be safe."

Yep, that's what my dermatologist told me when I had my check up for some skin problems that I am having right now. That I need to have sex. While I am young. And single. And stressed.

Because she thinks that my lack of physical activity causes the skin irritations that I got in my body. And when she also found out that my dad just had prostate cancer, she encouraged me more to be "physically active," 'coz if i ain't gonna use my "thingie" down there, the "rusting" can lead to prostate cancer.

I was a bit shocked at first by her advice, but hey, this is one hell of an excuse to just start "flinging my boy" and begin shaking some booty! (sorry for the really crass words, I just can't resist writing it down!)

But of course, she also told me that the nature of my job can also be the cause of the problem.

So... anyone out there wanna do some pure and certified safe, uhm, "game?"  I gotta be a dog right now. I gotta be "the dog!" (wink, wink!, Oopps, wait, this should be WOOF! WOOF!)

Hey, I'm just following orders here. and please take note, MEDICAL ORDERS. Its my doctor's advice, and I can't do anything but follow it, right? I got to make sure that my health is gonna be okay.

Its for my future, you know.I hope you do understand. So, if you're raring and roaring to be "healthy," dial me up and let's burn some raging fire!

(This is crazy. Totally, absolutely, CRAZY.)

She emailed me back.

:-)

******************

nagpahigpit na naman ako ng braces. nak ng tokwa, tatlong araw na naman akong mapupurga sa sopas.

mushroom, chicken, chicken noodle, beef, beef noodle, pork and mushroom, mushroom and potatoes, seafood and mushroom, crab and corn...

masarap isipin ang lasa ng mga sopas, pero kung tatlong beses araw-araw mo kakainin iyang mga iyan... isa siyang hindi kasiya-siyang pangitain.

hay, ang presyo ng vanity. para gumanda ang ngiti, magtiis ng dalawang taon sa mga bakal mo sa ngipin. at oo nga pala, ang presyo ng vanity, masakit sa bulsa.

kaya kahit anong saya ko dahil nag-email "siya," eh di naman ako makapagsalita sa higpit ng alambre sa bibig ko.

ito ang "pasko" para sa akin (hindi ito kumpleto):

in clockwise position:

wrigley: bomalabs ko dati, hanggang sa nakarit ni glenn ang kanyang puso. ayun, meron na silang mikey.

moks: ang ex-boypren at ngayo'y current boypren ulit ni attorney. dating hausmeyt sa bahay ni kuya, hanggang sa nagdesisyon akong umalis sa "pad." The "Ultimate Ututan Challenge" winner.

val: gary v. ng grupo. di kami masyado close pero kapag kumakanta siya, makalaglag panty.

ida: pinaiyak ko nun sa tambayan. ang tanging taong nakapagpagalit sa akin noong college dahil sa pagtatanggol kay pastor C nang dahil lang sa Form 5. napagkamalan ng nanay kong isang 10-year old kid nung masugod ako sa ospital matapos akong maaksidente sa peyups.

annex: crush ng bayan dahil sa ganda ng boses, balingkinitang katawan, at to die for na ngiti. nakarit na rin ang puso. ang swerteng nilalang: kuya junn. winner ng best thesis award para sa maikling pelikula niya.

cocoy: pastor C pa rin siya para sa akin. asawa ng bespren ko nung kolehiyo. butihing ama ni yana clio. ang papalit sa trono ni sir nick tiongson. idol sa pag-iisip, kaibigang tunay sa pagbibigay ng payo.

amy: bespren at thesis partner. pinagtawanan ako nung maaksidente ako sa upuan at isinugod sa east avenue medical center. parati kaming napapagkamalang mag-on dahil lagi kaming magkasama. asawa ni pastor C, butihing ina ni yana clio. isa sa tatlong pinaka-pinagkakatiwalaan kong tao sa mundo.

john: bilog kung siya'y tawagin ng taong napaiyak ko nung college. ang naalala ko sa kanya, super mario race sa super nintendo. siya ang nagturo sa akin kung paano mag-word. yep, pumasok ako sa kolehiyo ng walang kaalam-alam sa computer. take note, 1998 na iyun.

kaligay: short for kaligayahan. bebe ni bilog. anak ng taklesang si charis. na wala sa picture. baby sister ng grupo. ayaw sumakay sa kia pride, gusto toyota o honda ang kotseng sasakyan.

leah: siya ang attorney. girlfriend ng kapuso na ngayon. walang buhay dati dahil sa trabaho, natutong magkabuhay nang dahil sa pag-ibig. major fan ng F4, makikipagpatayan rin para kay hero angeles (na laos na ngayon).

ako: iyang nasa gilid. naka-salamin. payatot noon, tabatsintsing na ngayon. mabait noon, salbahe na ngayon. caring noon, apathetic na ngayon. Film major noon, TV Producer ngayon. magaling magpatawa noon, magaling ng magpaiyak ngayon.

glenn: siya iyung kumukuha nung picture. butihing asawa ng aking ex-bomalabs at ang ama ni mikey (na pinangalan nila kay michael jordan, college pa lang ay sinasabi na niyang ipapangalan niya ang anak niya kay MJ).

charis: wala sa picture dahil as usual, late. siya ang diktador ng grupo. the "Female Noah" kung siya'y tawagin, o di kaya nama'y "Female Moses."

********************

sila ang "pasko" para sa akin. dahil Christmass ang pangalan ng aming grupo. UP Christian Mass Communicators (UP Christmass). marami pang ibang miyembro, pero iyung mga nasa celebration sa picture na lang muna ang ikukwento ko.

matagal na ng huli kaming magkasama-sama. nag-iba na kasi ang ihip ng hangin. maraming nangyari sa kanila at sa akin. may mga "falling out of friendship" na nangyari, meron din namang "falling in love again," at meron din namang "hey, we're FF! (friends forever!)  ek ek.

tanging sa text at blog na lang kami nagkaka-updeytan sa buhay ngayon. well, ganun talaga ang buhay. kanya-kanyang landas ang tinahak, may ibang nagsama-sama, meron namang mga humiwalay ng direksyon. iyung iba, sumunod sa ihip ng hangin, iyung iba naman, sumabay sa alon ng karagatan.

o, nga pala, wala ng UP Christmass sa Peyups, na-dissolve ilang taon na ang nakaraan. meron daw umuusbong na bagong grupo, pero iba na ang pangalan.

"uhm, actually, i don't know how to say this.but i really would like to know more about you. (darn, i feel like a stupid fan asking for his idol's photograph, hehe)"

"anyway, i really don't know why i emailed you. i guess i just want to know more about you. hope i won't be a big bother. i got a friend who lives in (some place), and kagagaling ko lang diyan a few weeks ago. he attends...(some church) (i don't know why i'm telling you this...)"

"(i feel awkward writing this to you, and admitting how i felt is, i guess, one stupid thing to write about, ah the hell with it. honestly, i just want to know more about you.)"

"in any case, hope to hear from you."

yeah right. matapos kong isulat iyang mga iyan sa email, sa tingin nyo ba eh susulatan ako pabalik nung ini-email ko?

putek.

ano ba iyun? hello, taga-media ako. sanay ako sa pagsasalita, sanay ako sa pagsagot sa anumang katanungang ipinupukol sa akin. sanay ako sabihin ang mga bagay na gusto kong sabihin.

pero sa lagay na ito, animo'y isa akong grade 1 na nag-aaral magkabisa ng alpabetong pilipino. teka, hindi alpabeto, alibata.

ANG TAAANGAAA -TAAANNNGAAA KOOOO!!!

ehem, ehem. hingang malalim. inhale, exhale. okay lang iyan. wala na, hindi mo na iyun mababawi pa. napindot mo na iyung "send" button. umasa ka na lang at magdasal na matutuwa siya sa mga isinulat mo. kung hindi, malas mo.

at siyempre, mababasa niya rin ito. dahil dumaraan siya paminsan-minsan sa blog ko (hala sige, patuloy mong sirain ang reputasyon mo sa kanya).

at para sa iyo na ini-email ko, uhm, ahh, ehh... hello?

p.s.

ang... ganda mo. and i really, really, really would like to know more about you. (there i said it. bahala na si batman.ulit.)