go away. i don't need you. not anymore. shoo.

I DO NOT NEED YOU. GO AWAY. FAR FROM ME. AWAY WITH YOU. SCRAM. BUGGER OFF.

there. finally, I said it.

I hope you get what I mean.

just finished watching the devil wears prada.

extravagant and pretty clothes, not to mention the beautiful actors. it was a funny film, yet also nostalgic to people like me whose lives won't run without a dose of stress from their uber-demanding jobs.

i've worked with devils from hell (uhm, hell means work) before, like the Miranda that the movie showed (through Meryl Streep's fine portrayal). Demanding as they were, I also always managed to come up with seemingly good outputs to satisfy their standards (very high tastes, thank you very much). But the high demands that my former bosses have laid down for us (including my colleagues) have made us into what we are now: Devils that wear Prada. hehe. Kidding aside, their demands before has molded us into people with high ethical standards, thus maintaining the moral status of our positions in the industry.

I am proud to have gone under very demanding people. I have learned a lot in the trade through them, and I value (with high regard) the things that they have bestowed upon us. Without their guidance, I wouldn't have reached the position that I hold today, and I wouldn't be as good as I am right now if it weren't for their uber-demanding training.

That's why I don't think that bosses (even the most demanding and ruthless ones) should be called devils, but more of guardians. Yes, they may have changed me and my attitude towards life, but hey, they didn't force me to follow their footsteps, nor push into my face whatever things they believed in. They just showed me different tricks of the trade. It was up to me whether i would accept it or not. What I am right now is of my own doing. They just helped (or even corrupted, lol) me reach the person that I am right now.

However, unlike the Miranda that Meryl has portrayed, my bosses never stepped on other people's fate (well, some of them did, but some didn't), and they taught (and are still continuing to teach) me the ethics that my industry currently follows and yes, respects.

At first, I thought this entry was gonna be more of a hate entry, but I was surprised myself to see what I wrote here.I have appreciated and seen the other side of being a "devil" in the workplace. Sky-scraping demands have its own benefits and flaws, you just have to screen through things, and choose what you take in the course of your lifetime.

I thank God because I have gone through what I went through. My work has definitely changed me. It contributed a lot (both positive and negative) in what I am right now. But it was always up to me to choose what to take for eternal use and what to dispose and throw in the trash bag. I am a mixture of all the things that all my bosses have showed me since the start of my career, may it be good, or bad. What is important is in each of them, i have learned and put into practice things that I thought I wasn't capable of doing (this is kinda vague, huh? yeah, its vague to me too.). What I am saying here is this: every devil's persona has an angel hiding beneath it (you just have to look for it thoroughly).

In the end, its still you who's gonna decide what to wear for work everyday in your entire life. I may have become the devil (I mean the boss) today, but what I wear is of my own choosing. Its up to you if you're gonna wear it too or if you're gonna go for your own style. As for me, I'm gonna mix and match, and see what works for me.

By the way, just to point it out, I don't wear Prada. I rarely wear designer brands. I wear what I want to wear. Its my body anyway.

So to all the devils in the workplace, (in Meryl Streep accent) that is all!

tinapos ko ang buong season ng project runway 2 kagabi hanggang kaninang umaga. nagsimula ako ng alas dose, at natapos ako ng alas otso. nakatulugan ko iyung episode 13 ng bandang alas sais y media, pero nagising ako matapos ang 30 minutes, siyempre, inulit ko na lang para wala akong malampasan.

i think the season 1 finalists are better designers than the season 2 finalists (except of course for wendy, the bitch from hell in season 1). during the olympus runway showdown, jay and kara saun were in a neck-to-neck battle because they really went beyond everybody's expectations.

pero dito sa season 2, nung pinakita na iyung collection ni daniel vosovic, chloe dao and santino rice, medyo napangiwi ako. kasi parang nag-expect ako ng tulad ng ginawa nila kara saun at jay, na may theme, pinag-isipan iyung flow ng mga damit. pero itong sa tatlong finalist ngayon, parang "okay, iyun na iyun."

but that doesn't mean hindi sila magaling.i was rooting for daniel, kasi during the pevious eps, humakot na talaga siya ng wins over the other semi-finalists. the range of his creativity is so broad na simpleng konsepto, napapaganda niya (di tulad ni santino na puro yabang, although i like his work too.)

anyway, chloe dao (a vietnamese(or laotian?) immgirant) won season 2. mabuti na lang asian siya kaya okay na rin na siya ang nagwagi. pero sa tingin ko, sa tingin ko lang naman, mas talented si daniel. cool pa niya manamit, ang 70's ng buhok tapos ang retro/preppy/funky ng dating niya. artist na artist ang aura.

anyway, may nanalo na. as if naman may magagawa pa ang pagra-rant ko rito eh tapos na iyung season. hinihintay ko na iyung season 3 nito. sana wagi rin iyung episodes and challenges. :)

aside from project runway, hinihintay ko na rin ang season 3 ng Lost. hay my golly, isa pa ito sa mga pupuyat sa akin sa mga susunod na buwan. kaya ko nai-stress eh. pati buhay ko outside work, puro puyatan.

i just finished whipping out memos to some people in the office (yeah, i'm that powerful... NOT!) and it was really exhausting. Thinking of the right words to use really kicked the ass of billions of my brain cells so I wouldn't sound too rude or arrogant.

these memos will have consequences though. broken relationships with officemates will surely be one of them. but I feel that they deserve to be reprimanded. Its now up to them how they will react to the written reprimands.

I guess its really hard when you're in charge of people. You have to be objective in doing things, most especially in writing certain memoranda (its the plural form of memorandum, right?) that would put your officemates' asses on the hot seat.

but that's life. I too, got whipped by memos before. And they made me more mature and responsible with my work.

so to you people, I don't feel sorry that you got the whip. don't be angry at me. be angry with yourself, because I know that you know that you did something wrong.

                              ************************************************************

remember the project that I wrote about here before? I'm getting the hang of it now. the people are easier to work with, and the stress is lesser and easier to handle. :)

frank really has ways of knowing how I currently feel:

I feel so forgettable right now, to the point of realizing that I don't remember who i was before.

so what if it hits the 50 mark?

do the people (specifically the poor ones) feel the economic growth that the government is so proud of?

don't get me wrong here. i am happy that the peso is finally recovering from its long-overdue slump, but come on, nobody feels the growth at all!

maybe the businessmen and politicians do feel it, but for the majority of the population, the news of a recovering peso doesn't ring a bell.

poor Rizal. if he's alive today, what do you think he would say upon learning that HIS FACE is THE FACE of our failing currency?

started reading dave sedaris' Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. He.s a funny guy. How i wish I could be like him, writing stories that are hilariously funny without even trying to be funny.

i used to be the funny guy in my group. I can whip up jokes in flash and deliver punch lines at the right time. I even started a craze in our group.

(note to reader: the jokes written below may not be funny if not told in person, and besides, we were a weird bunch, so we found these jokes funny)

i remember one time i was riding the tricycle with a friend and we saw fruit stand selling chico. One of us blurted "ay chico o!" I immediately asked her, "di ba iyung chico, iyung pupunta ka sa kaliwa or sa kanan?" "hindi, iyung chico, parte iyun ng katawan, iyung sa pagitan ng braso at kamay..."

the "chico" joke went on and started a craze in our organization. whenever I hear a word that could be translated into a joke, I would immediately say "di ba iyan iyung..." and people would stop everything that they were doing at that time and listen to what I would say.

the words that I "translate" got longer and longer, and the joke became more and more complicated. I would create hilarious stories from the words that I hear and my friends would really laugh hard at them.

For example: we were on our way to some gig in Manila, and the discussion went from school bands to sisyphus. In an instant, I told them (and this was in detail):

"Di ba iyung sisyphus, iyun iyung sasabihin mo kapag nasa tambayan kayo ng isang sorority, nag-uusap, nagdadaldan, kumakain ng chicha. tapos biglang may lumipad na ipis sa gitna ng table, at sisigaw ka ng "sis--yphus!"

the jokes went on for while, and as time passed, the words became longer and more difficult to translate. from simple words like "sober" (i gotta tell this one) to the more difficult ones like "mississippi," (this one's pathetic) i became used to formulating sequences just to deliver the punch line.

but the record holder came when we talked about countries while wasting some time in the tambayan. but first, let me tell you about "sober." (I gotta tell this now coz this won't let me sleep if i let this story pass)

"Di ba iyung sober, ito iyung sasabihin mo nung time na pinatay na si Ninoy Aquino, tapos pinagbintangan si Marcos. Maraming hinuli pero hindi maturo-turo ang mastermind ng pagpatay kay Ninoy. Matapos ang ilang taon, isang tao ang itinuro: Si Gen. Fabian Ver.

Nang magsimula na ang paglilitis, tumayo agad ang prosecutor. At para maging mas kapani-paniwala ang kanyang pagtatanong, ito ang kanyang sinabi: "so-ber, ikaw ba ang pumatay kay ninoy?!"

this was a record holder in terms of the depth of the story that I formulated for the world. but the most unforgettable one is this: Chekoslovakia. During the conversation, a friend mentioned the country. I didn't interrupt the flow of talk immediately by saying "Di ba iyan iyung..." Because of the nature of the word, i took time in thinking of the best story for "Chekoslovakia."

After a few minutes of deep thinking, this is what I came up with:

"Chekoslovakia, ito iyung sasabihin mo kapag nag-aaral ka sa maynila, tapos nakatira ka sa bahay ng lolo mo. mahigpit ang lolo mo pagdating sa curfew, kaya alas diyes pa lang, sarado na ang gate at patay na ang ilaw sa bahay. ang problema, bakla ka, at ang buhay mo, makulay. ayaw mo ng tahimik na buhay, gusto mo ng maingay at masayang night life.

isang gabi, sobrang na-bore ka sa bahay, kaya pumuslit ka. pumunta ka sa mga gay bars, nagliwaliw ng husto hanggang abutin ka ng madaling araw. nang sumapit na ang alas tres, nagdesisyon ka ng umuwi. pagdating mo sa bahay, dahan-dahan kang papasok sa gate. unti-unti mong binuksan ang gate, gumawa ito ng kaunting ingay, pero buti na lang di nagbukas ang ilaw.

dali-dali kang lumakad sa pinto, at unti-unti mo itong binuksan. pero pagbukas mo, magugulat ka. nakatayo ang lolo mo, bakas ang galit sa mukha nito. Sigwa niya, "ANONG ORAS NA?!? SAAN KA NANGGALING!?!"

sa sobrang takot at pagkabalisa, ito ang nasabi mo: "Sa Chekos, lo--vakia ako!"

these are just samples of our jokes. I used to be this funny (well, for my college friends, i was really funny). but when I started working, the humor that was in me started to fade away.

i really think my work is to blame here. It has changed a lot in me. It made me take everything seriously.

or maybe I just grew up, too. Jokes and punch lines became childish and immature things. I suddenly lost track of my funny side.

I wish I am still funny. I wish i can still bring not just smiles, but laughs to the people around me. I wish I could bring even just a small smile to me.

but I guess humor found its way out of my system and left me for good. isn't it funny my life turned out to be so unfunny?

naisip ko lang, dahil sa nangyari kay pareng pluto, habangbuhay nang mali ang commercial ni shaira luna, gifted child.

sabi niya kasi di ba, "the sun is the center of the universe, and revolving around it are the nine planets..."

nine! Hah! not anymore kiddo! (ay, di na pala siya kiddo, dalagita na rin ito eh.)

di lang pala si pluto ang kawawa, pati rin pala si shaira luna, gifted child. at habang buhay na niyang dadalhin ito sa kanyang mga balikat. i feel for you shaira luna, gifted child. i feel for you.

dumarami ata ang mga kaibigan ko sa internet. hello kay david at sa mga repapips natin diyan sa bulacan, kay manong driver at manong guard na nagbabasa ngayon ng xerex sa abante...

at isang palakpak, teka, gawin na nating dalawang palakpak! para kay hitori de sa patuloy na pagtangkilik sa mga kuro-kurong walang kwenta, na puro wento, wa naman kwenta...

at kay stef at killjoy na walang sawang nakikinig sa mga awiting tinutugtog ng isang sirang plaka, mabuhay ka! ay kayo pala!

at ang kuro-kurong ito ay dedicated para kay pareng pluto. hayaan mo pare, kahit inismol ka ng mga "oh so intelligent human beings called astro-physicists" na mga iyan, mahal ka pa rin nila.

honga pala, ako'y hahayo muna't mawawala ng isang linggo. may kailangan akong tapusin na trabaho at ngarag na ngarag na ako. halata na bang stressed ako? heto nga o, nannginginig na ko sa kaka-type, dahil "pu*****na, wala pa kaming istorya!"

ehem,ehem. cool lang. coool. coool. bumilang ka, 1... 2... 3! say... banana! come on, say it, say it!

BA-NA-NA!

pakshet, presidente pa rin natin si ate Gloria.

pluto's been demoted.

he ain't a planet anymore.